The 6th Epiphany Sunday: Jerimiah 17:5-10; Luke 6:17-26
Key verse: I the Lord test the mind and search the heart. (Jerimiah 17:10)
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Hello, This is Jade.
Welcome to Yi.kigai
A space for all to explore the intersection between faith and daily life
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Happy Epiphany. We are approaching the end of this season. It is the 6th Sunday of Epiphany.
Last week I met with a colleague who wanted to hear about my experiences serving at white congregations as an Asian, female pastor who is a nonnative English speaker. I could see his good intention and commitment to the Asian and Asian-American communities that are often dismissed easily among other ethnic groups in our organization, the ELCA, when biases and discriminations are addressed. After our conversation, I felt exhausted. Maybe I’m tired of listening to my own stories that seem to never end.
There have been many incidents sending me a clear message that I am not welcomed from the very beginning of my vocation. For example, when I was doing my internship, my supervisor told me that a parishioner asked me to visit his wife who was admitted to the hospital. So I went. When I arrived at her room, she was in a deep sleep. I waited for about 30 minutes and she was still sleeping. So I decided to leave a note for her husband to see that I was there. The moment I stood up from a chair and was looking for a piece of paper, a nurse came in and questioned me in an unfriendly tone of voice, “Who are you? Why are you here?” After I introduced myself to her, she asked me with a disbelieving look in her eyes, “Say it again, which church are you with?”
To me, the realities are: 1.) People seem to be entitled to express their dissatisfactions, biases, discriminations through phone calls, texts, emails, and even in person. The message that I am not welcomed is clear. 2.) My apologies to them, especially as a nonnative English speaker with an accent, are never enough. 3.) In every congregation I served, about 10% of the members were biased or complained outwardly; this isn’t a big number but I had to go through this pain each time for the last 15 years at the 8 congregations I served. Each time, it felt like a wound that was poked over and over again. Even though I got a break in between each call, I can’t help but ask myself, “Should I just quit? Or should I keep apologizing for something that I can’t change?”
My former Bishop shared his thoughts on Caste, a book by Isabel Wilkerson on Facebook. It seemed like an interesting read, so I checked it out from the library. I really appreciate the author’s insights, research, and analysis. Her book helped me understand why people behave the way they do in this country where a caste system has long been arranged for decades.
She explains that each of us is a container or some kind. Each container got a label. The label signals to the world what is presumed to be inside and what needs to be done with it. The label tells you which shelves your container supposedly belongs on. In a caste system, the label is frequently out of sync with the contents, mistakenly put on the wrong shelf. And this hurts people and institutions in ways that we may not always know.
Have you ever seen a sea turtle carrying uninvited inhabitants or hitchhikers like barnacles or shellfish? Sea turtles must feel extremely frustrated having to carry such heavy loads for days, months, or years. It takes a great deal of care for rescuers to remove the inhabitants from the turtles’ shells. Sometimes, they can’t remove them all. Seeing the scars and remaining inhabitants on the turtles’ shells makes me think about each of us who are also carrying some uninvited burdens in our lives. For me, the caste system is like the uninvited inhabitants and hitchhikers in our lives. Some take advantage of it; some are victims of it; some play both roles in their lives voluntarily or involuntarily.
The prophet Jeremiah warned the people of faith in 17:10 that the Lord tests the mind and searches the heart to give to all according to their ways and according to the fruit of their doings. I am reminded, and at the same time grateful, that we have a God who is just and merciful. There are still many that don’t take the caste system seriously, including the people of faith. We still have a long way to go.
If you have been feeling loaded with biases, prejudices, discriminations, and violence against your gender, your ethnicity, your age, your ability, your profession, your skin color, your sexual orientation, please know that God is behind you to support you, beside you to befriend you, above you to watch over you, before you to open a door of peace and comfort for you, and within you to give you courage and faith that you need each day. We should stop apologizing about things that we can’t change, which is a crucial part of a healing process.
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May your coming week be blessed by God’s grace
As together we explore the intersection between faith and daily life
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